Someone Catch This Pilum

A mirthful look at who was stomping on whom on this day in history. Let's face it, while war may not be something to glamorize, it has been a constant reality for as long as man figured out that he could cave in a skull with a lump of rock and steal someone else’s mammoth steak vs. hunting for himself. And pretty much every day is a wonderful anniversary of someone doing exactly that. Here I recount those encounters in a colorful – and hopefully humorous – manner.

February 19th, 197 AD | The Battle of Lugdunum

One of the biggest, bloodiest, Roman-on-Roman fuck fests in history, but what caused it? Well, it all started when “Rome” was not “Rome” and the legions were actually not called “legions.” It was down to this guy: “Marcus Aurelius Commodus Antoninus Augustus at your...

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February 13th, 1503 | The Challenge of Barlette

Friday 13th; ahhh a time of spookiness, bad tidings, and  Jason Voorhees freezing your head in a tub of liquid nitrogen. Orrrrrrrrrr, 500 years ago, it was a great time for slamming down your wine, pointing to the guy opposite you, and challenging the cowardly...

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February 10th, 1258 | The Siege of Baghdad

Many of us in this day-and-age only know of Baghdad from the perspective of the “Shock and Awe” bombings from the United States and the United Kingdom, when they collectively decided that Saddam Hussein was a right twat and needed to get the hell out of Dodge. And to...

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February 7th, 1807 | The Battle of Eylau

You know why I love the Napoleonic era so much? The scale of everything can simply get mind-boggling. We’re not talking about hundreds of men, or even thousands; but tens and hundreds of thousands. Not a battle front of a few hundred yards, but miles across. Not...

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February 4th, 1703 | The Forty-Seven Ronin Commit Seppuku

If there’s one thing I can say about Japan: they take their obligations bloody seriously. With the emphasis on “bloody.” Someone looked at you funny? Let me behead them for you. Someone upset you over a particularly vicious retweet? That’s a katana to the larynx, for...

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January 11th, 1879 | The Anglo-Zulu War

           You know the wonderful thing about warfare through the ages? It’s that mankind has never run out of new and wonderful excuses to beat each other up. And that’s especially true if the other guy happens to be technologically inferior to you, ‘cos nothing says...

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January 5th, 1477 | The Battle of Nancy

The 15th Century; you cheeky, cheeky little minx. Don’t like your neighbor? Invade his lands. Fancy a little extra real-estate? Marry into a powerful family. Or kill them, killing them always works. Bored one Sunday afternoon? Exercise those trebuchet arms and throw a...

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January 3rd, 1642 | The English Civil War, Pt.1

The first half of the 17th Century, and King Charles I of England is demonstrating to the rest of Europe the fine art form of: “How to piss off everyone around you and cause a bit of a ruckus,” otherwise also known as “how to fuck up a monarchy in 3 easy steps and...

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December 31st, 1862 | The Battle of Stones River

Pop quiz: who had eyebrows capable of wielding their own war – on both flanks simultaneously – and sent off a telegram with these words on New Year’s Eve, 1862: “The enemy has yielded his strong position and is falling back. We occupy the whole field and shall follow...

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“I love your posts, fantastic! Are you a history major, or some such nut punching endeavor?”

Both? Also a pilum-chucker. ~ Alyssa

“I love your stories. They are interesting and unique as well as funny. Thank you for being one of the most refreshing and original blogs here.”

History can be fun. It’s all how you present it. ~ Alyssa

I attended The Northwest Historical Miniature Gaming Society’s “Enfilade 2016!″ over this last Memorial Day weekend, and while this in and of itself may not be a revolutionary event, my experience was enjoyable enough whereby I felt somewhat compelled to write about it. And that – my fine, feathered friends – is unusual, because I rarely feel compelled to write about anything other than history and how one fine fellow put a war pick across the skull of another.

But I digress, this is meant to be about the here and now. Or rather,  this last Enfilade!.

Herculaneum Soldier’s Sword Reproduction

Jeffrey Hildebrandt, a master craftsman with Royal Oak Armory in Ontario, worked with Dr. Robert Mason of the Royal Ontario Museum and U of Toronto to recreate what that Herculaneum soldier’s sword and belt probably looked like. This is copied and pasted with Jeff’s kind permission from the web site Forum for Ancient Reenacting run by Matt Lima.

“It is based on the sword found with the “Herculaneum soldier,” and the hypothetical reconstruction was designed by Dr. Robert Mason, of the ROM & University of Toronto.

“I forged the sword from 1045 steel and gave it a simple slack quench heat treatment. The blade was forged very close to final dimensions, so a bit of scale can still be seen on the finished blade. The hilt is fitted with a boxwood pommel and guard, both sheathed in silver, and a bone grip. There is a ring assembly on the end of the tang.”

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Chuck a Pilum

Share the mayhem with your fellow warmongers!