Someone Catch This Pilum

A mirthful look at who was stomping on whom on this day in history. Let's face it, while war may not be something to glamorize, it has been a constant reality for as long as man figured out that he could cave in a skull with a lump of rock and steal someone else’s mammoth steak vs. hunting for himself. And pretty much every day is a wonderful anniversary of someone doing exactly that. Here I recount those encounters in a colorful – and hopefully humorous – manner.

December 24th, 1826 | The Eggnog Riot

Yeah, that’s right: EGGNOG, bitches. Back in 1826 this shit was for REAL, and it was damn well worth throwing a table over and punching someone in the face for. Oh, and “Merry Christmas.” But hold on a seccy-mo, what’s so special about Eggnog? Milk, cream, sugar,...

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December 22nd, 1944 | “Nuts!” The Battle of the Bulge

December 22nd, 1944, and Brig. Gen. Anthony McAuliffe, commander of the 101st Airborne Division, stares down at the surrender demand sent by the surrounding German forces. His charge – the city of Bastogne – is in trouble: medical supplies and personnel were gone, the...

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December 18th, 218 BC | The Battle of Trebia

It’s 218 BC. It’s also December. The thing about December – especially around the Province of Piacenza in northern Italy – is it can get a might bit bloody nippy; snows fall, ice forms on the ground, and there’s a remarkable lack of food growing around you. No...

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December 16th, 1773 | The Boston Tea Party

If you are an American, you’ve heard of this one; in fact, at this point, you may well be standing up and saluting the flag; national pride swelling out your chest like General Patton himself. But what really went on here and why did an angry mob of Americans dressed...

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December 8th, 1941 | America Declares War on Japan

Seventy years ago America declared war on Japan, but this wasn’t “The World Police” picking on the little guy here, because – perhaps oddly, with some hindsight – Japan started it. But why the heck would a little island all the way over there pick a scrap with one of...

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December 4th, 1676 | The Battle of Lund

“The battle of what-now?” I hear you cry. Well let me just sum this one up with no spoilers: everyone dies. I’m not kidding: people are getting shot, skewered, drowned, trampled, or otherwise annihilated in one of Europe’s most bloodiest battles (as a percentage of...

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December 2nd, 1805 | The Battle of Austerlitz

1805, and Europe is dealing with a pesky problem: The First French Empire. Ever since 1792 the ever-swelling army of the French had been running around Europe and some parts of the Middle East, pounding things with cannon balls, and then sticking French flags in them...

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November 25th, 1177 | The Battle of Montgisard

The Ayyubid: a Muslim dynasty centered in Egypt. Founded in 1171 under Ṣalāḥ ad-Dīn Yūsuf ibn Ayyūb; - wait, hold on, that sounds like I just hacked in my throat; let me break out Google Translate. Let’s see, apparently he was called “Saladin.” Ahh yes, I’ve heard of...

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November 24th, 1542 | The Battle of Solway Moss

Ahhh, the 16th Century: a time of school children making friends, gossiping, blocking each other on Facebook, Twittering about each other, and getting into fights in the playground. Except these children were countries and kingdoms, and the “playground” was Europe and...

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“I love your posts, fantastic! Are you a history major, or some such nut punching endeavor?”

Both? Also a pilum-chucker. ~ Alyssa

“I love your stories. They are interesting and unique as well as funny. Thank you for being one of the most refreshing and original blogs here.”

History can be fun. It’s all how you present it. ~ Alyssa

I attended The Northwest Historical Miniature Gaming Society’s “Enfilade 2016!″ over this last Memorial Day weekend, and while this in and of itself may not be a revolutionary event, my experience was enjoyable enough whereby I felt somewhat compelled to write about it. And that – my fine, feathered friends – is unusual, because I rarely feel compelled to write about anything other than history and how one fine fellow put a war pick across the skull of another.

But I digress, this is meant to be about the here and now. Or rather,  this last Enfilade!.

Herculaneum Soldier’s Sword Reproduction

Jeffrey Hildebrandt, a master craftsman with Royal Oak Armory in Ontario, worked with Dr. Robert Mason of the Royal Ontario Museum and U of Toronto to recreate what that Herculaneum soldier’s sword and belt probably looked like. This is copied and pasted with Jeff’s kind permission from the web site Forum for Ancient Reenacting run by Matt Lima.

“It is based on the sword found with the “Herculaneum soldier,” and the hypothetical reconstruction was designed by Dr. Robert Mason, of the ROM & University of Toronto.

“I forged the sword from 1045 steel and gave it a simple slack quench heat treatment. The blade was forged very close to final dimensions, so a bit of scale can still be seen on the finished blade. The hilt is fitted with a boxwood pommel and guard, both sheathed in silver, and a bone grip. There is a ring assembly on the end of the tang.”

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Chuck a Pilum

Share the mayhem with your fellow warmongers!